That was the question for me last night. It all started yesterday while I was in Covington. I got to hang out with so many of my friends that I have not seen in so long. It was wonderful! But when I am in a big crowd of people from home, I start feeling so dang insecure. Who am I to my friends and people there? My mind starts racing... Do they like me? What do they think of me? I wonder what they have heard about me? Do they think I have gained too much weight? (lol) Do they still think of me as that bratty child that would not shut up in Sunday School? (lol) I could go on and on! Growing up in a small town, there are so many people that know your ups and your downs, your past and your present, and your strengths and flaws. Boy, do I have some flaws! I have always been a "People Pleaser" and if I think that someone doesn't like me- IT KILLS ME! I can't stand it! I have found myself letting so many of my wonderful friendships go because of this problem I have of not knowing who I am around them. I want people to know my heart and who I am.... not the person that got a divorce, the girl that partied way too much, or the girl that had NO idea of who she was--but I want people to see the person God has made me, a sinner who has been delivered by God's grace. This was so heavy on my heart this morning.
When I got to church, I was amazed! The sermon, I felt, spoke directly to me. The title was "Who am I?" It was about Moses. Moses probably had a little bit of an idenity crisis. He was born a Hebrew but was raised an Egyptian. There were probably times that he didn't know who in the world he was! The Hebrew people looked at him as the enemy and slave driver and the Egyptians KNEW he was a Hebrew that should have been killed when he was born. Could you imagine the confusion Moses felt? But God had big things in store for Moses. Moses was the key to helping free God's people. (Exodus 2) Rachel Newsome shared her testimony of her own idenity crisis this morning and this is what she taught me:
Who am I? I am Stephanie Elizabeth Weaver. I am God's righteousness.
"God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God." 2 Cor. 5:21 -That my friends is who I am. Thank God! I hope I am not the only one that goes through periods of idenity crisis. I am a mother, wife, friend, co-worker, etc. BUT the most important, THE RIGHTEOUSNESS OF GOD through Jesus!